A Struggle

Ok, so here we are a month into school and I am having my first real crisis.
I mean CRIIIIIII-ssEEEEEEEEss.

I'm kind of dramatic though so this might not be that big of a deal. It's just wreaking my world.

It's about this simple question- What is important?

Here's my debate. There are so many things calling for attention and something has to get it. Multi-tasking is such a great idea, in theory. But in reality SOMETHING is actually getting your attention. It's why they make crazy laws, like not talking or texting while driving. "They" are smart enough to know that although we think we can do three things at once, we really can't. Or at least not 100%. Something is getting 99% or 80% or 63.2% and something else is getting only 1%, 20% or 36.8%. It's just reality folks.

As a mom of three elementary students when the spelling lists, fundraising sheets, library books, music show-n-tells, homework to-do's, and volunteer sign-ups come rolling out of the back packs I somehow get lost in the paperwork. But what is actually harder than organizing and making sure that everything gets looked at, is the deciding - What is important?

Here's an example from this week...the kids came home with all the above mentioned papers. And the boys are STOKED about this fundraiser they are doing for school. The deal is that the more cookie dough they sell the more little RUBBER DUCKS they get. Ok, seriously, they are little ducks that go on a lanyard and they can't get enough of these ducks. It's really a GENIUS idea. Get kids excited about a little trinket that they get for selling cookie dough and your school makes a ton of $moo-la$. At first I was like, "Nope, this is not getting my attention." But then the boys come home day after day so excited about the ducks their friends got and I am thinking... "RUBBER DUCKS??!!?" But then I realize they only have to sell three bins of dough to get the lanyard and a duck or two. "It's not that hard, have them call the grandparents and get this done." **Mind you, this means, fundraising for rubber ducks cookie dough, is now getting some percentage of my thinking.** Ugh.

This is where it gets really ugly... On Monday Nathan came home and said, "Mom, I signed up for music show-n-tell and I HAVE to do it. Can I take Uncle Marcus' saxophone?" Honestly, I thought this was a great idea but decided to put it off until Ben got home. "Maybe Nate." When I talked to Ben about it his thoughts were a bit more practical- it's heavy and expensive- two good reasons that this wasn't the best time for Nate to take it to school. But Ben had a great idea - Take a piano book and show the kids that you know how to play the piano! Good idea dad! That meant practicing and taking some time to make this important. But.. time went by.. and it somehow didn't make it to the top of the "important list."

Uglier...This morning Nathan is totally distressed. Should he take the sax and risk losing it or it getting stolen or broken? Or should he take a piano book that he really couldn't, off the cuff, play something out of? (We haven't taken lessons for over a year). He was totally stressed and I was stressed and we both wanted the same thing, but in reality neither Nate nor I had made this important.

He ended up taking the piano book but he was so sad. The whole walk to the bus stop he hung his head. In the heat of the moment I think he felt like he wasn't responsible enough to take the sax and he was settling for second best by taking the music book. The whole way back home I felt like, "Where did I miss the mark here? What was really important to focus on this week? Are there other ways I am missing the mark? Am I putting things at the top of the list that are not important? Am I making unimportant things important?"

Somehow rubber ducks got my focus this week and I think Nathan's music show-n-tell maybe should have been at the top instead. It was a bummer for both him and I this morning. But it did open my eyes to see. There are SO MANY "things" that require my attention. I think I want the little "people" in my life to get that attention first and foremost. I want to get excited about the things that excite them but also want to teach them that we are pulled in lots of directions and sometimes we have to STOP and LISTEN to our hearts and find out what is really supposed to be at the top of our list.

In this day and age I think it takes a lot of self control to do that. I hope that I can exercise this muscle and help them to develop it over time. A good lesson to learn at 33 years old, a GREAT lesson to learn at 8 years old.

Dreaming of duckies tonight....:)